I just want to be held.

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Getting away from life

Did I tell you Ex is leaving for China / Indonesia to meet his gf for the first time and then see his family--possibly get a job there. He is going to leave me with a shambles of a house to clean up, his children to take care of, and his credit card bill collectors to tell that he doesn't live there anymore. I think I will change the phone number. I am not sure how I feel about all this. Maybe a bit scared of taking on the financial burdens with little hope of child support and no alimony. Going back into the same old house isnt my idea of fun either. Yet, I know that I can clean it up, repaint. I can do it. The lawn in the back has reached mid calf already. Probably he will leave that for me also---just as well. Last year it took him all summer to get the lawn finished through ONE time. It's not a big lawn.... I dunno, maybe he has the right idea-- new place, new start. If I had the money, I'd give him some just to hurry him along even if it means he is leaving my...
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Empty Arms

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It was a rough weekend. I was feeling pretty blue to begin with--grieving the loss of my little family which has shattered to pieces, leaving just me and my son under one roof. Dunno what precipitated that pity party, but it was going on since Thursday. Friday, Son's father didn't call, text, or come to pick him up. Son was not inclined to make the effort either. I guess he figures that if his father wants him, he'd initiate. Saturday morning was particularly rough because Son had Saturday School---kind of like detention on Saturday, for being tardy to class after PE. Moving fast is not his strong suit ever. Plus, he doesn't wake up and get going easily either. Basically, Saturday was filled with Son's fussing, homework, tears, slamming of doors,and lot's of I-hate-you's. Yeah, pretty miserable all the way around. I think maybe it was a reaction to how he feels about what's happening with his dad. OR not happening. It culminated in Son sobbing in hi...
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X's birthday, X in law birthdays... what should I do

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