BESIDE MYSELF--Starting Over

About a week or so after my last post, the funniest most aggravating thing happened to show me that LIFE reads my blog and loves to yank my chain whenever possible. This has occurred several times and I'm starting to get paranoid! lol. As you know, Fred and I are no longer an item but occasionally, he would come to see me. We'd hang out, enjoy each other's company for a few hours, then I'd hug him, smooch him, and wave goodbye. I was okay with that because I really like Fred and enjoy his company. What I have never enjoyed was the drama that he'd instigate via text messages. It seems that he was always making up and breaking up with me via text. sux. SO, as I said, a week after my last post, I got a series of text messages from Fred proclaiming his lust along with his desire to "belong to me forever". I was mostly worried and amused. As far as I knew, Fred wasn't a drinker and those texts sounded drunk. AND he was. He called and sounded a bit ti

My friend was telling me how his new girl is everything he wants in a woman I wonder if anyone will ever say that about me. I cheated myself. Young men find a girl and fall in love, want to be with her forever even if it doesn't last, they choose her I missed out on all that. no roses, no hearts, no dreams of forever no one ever chose me and said "you're it" "You're the one" God, that hurts a lot It seems that I'm good for a month or two or maybe five or maybe twenty years but I am not a forever girl Hold on, hyperventilating. Anxiety attack. Breathe. "Mom, are you alright?" Breathe. Glass of cold water. Take a pill. Breathe.