BESIDE MYSELF--Starting Over

Been a hectic, busy, tiring, good, stressful and curious Thanksgiving break. I'm pretty much moved into my new place-- but MEGA cleaning and sorting to do at the house yet. Thanksgiving Day, Navy came to my mom's house for lunch :)) AND he stayed quite awhile, which was pretty nice. Yesterday, Fred came and helped me move the rest of my furniture, my washer and hooked it up, etc. That was so sweet of him. So yeah, these two men seem to be in and out of my day to day life. X came by the new place and aggravated me. Asked for a favor, threatened, accused, threatened, whined, blah blah. THEN he tried to force a hug on me with an apology! pfft can you believe him? I stepped away, held up a hand and said NO! No hug. Apology accepted, whatever. Good thing was Fred was there when he came. When I was done with the conversation, I just walked away and into Fred's arms. He petted my hair. Nice. Even nicer was that X had to see it as he drove away. lol. whatever. I'm lovi

I cooked dinner on Friday AND made lasagna yesterday. That's quite an accomplishment for me, lately. When I was a wife and a mother, I cooked all the time. Now, it's just me and Mr. Fussy Eater, so we don't always eat the same thing. Spent the weekend alone. I hate being alone. Sad. Took myself to a movie, so that was good. Still a bit sad. Even so, managed to do some packing for the big move, paid a few pre-moving bills. I have to say, I'm kind of scared about finances. Not sure why, since this will be much easier for me to manage. Moving is a pain. There are still so many things that we accumulated over the years to sort through, which is pretty daunting. If I can finally get through it all though, I will finally be free of my marriage, free of the junk, much lighter. I don't know who will help me move. My brother is busy. Not sure if I can carry stuff myself but maybe if I can find a cart. I could pay the one biker guy who I hire now and again to help. But,

For some reason, this makes me like 50 Cent much more. 100% more because I never liked him. But this video... I think it was nice of him.

sometimes I just need a stinking BREAK!!!! Every morning, I have to fight to get this kid up and out the door so that I'm not late for work AGAIN. I have to deal with his attitudes, his not getting homework done, his teachers, paying for everything and his DAMN father can't do anything remotely helpful. I'm sorry but sometimes I think X is nothing but a damn aggravating waste of space.

You know, I hesitate to write anything here lately. It seems like the minute I publish something on here, the whole situation flip flops and the opposite of what I just wrote becomes true. :/ Okay, so practically the second I posted the last entry, Navy waltzed back into my life in a big way and Fred waltzed out, I guess. I dunno. After some great quality time, *poof* he's incommunicado. I prolly did something to upset him, AGAIN. whatever. I dare say no more about the Navy situation due to the reason stated above. :/ Meanwhile, work is fine. My sleep is disrupted. Getting ready to move to the apartment over Thanksgiving--looking forward to it, but a bit nervous too. I've lived in the house for 12 years and kinda scared to be a single mother in an apartment surrounded by strangers. However, being able to live within my salary will be a good bonus---that way child support or no, things will be okay. Speaking of which, I haven't been so torn up over that business lately