X's birthday, X in law birthdays... what should I do

Oh, I almost forgot. I have a question for you all. My X's mother's birthday just passed. His father's birthday is in a week or so and his birthday a bit after. I thought about having the kids call their Oma (grandma) to wish happy birthday but opted not to. I think he should be responsible for that.

What do I do about this and/or his upcoming birthday? Do I have the kids do something? He didn't bother for me last year when we were separated.....

Ideas anyone?

Comments

  1. TAGAugust 19, 2009 at 5:56 PM

    I had this very discussion with an employee just this afternoon.

    My (soon to be) ex has a birthday next Wednesday. I will take my son and make sure he gets his mother something for her birthday. The employee agreed. She takes her kids to make sure they do something for their father. Just like you she said that last year he did not help them do anything for her. But we agreed that doing the right thing didn't change no matter what the ex does.

    Of course, at some point they have to be responsible for doing these things themselves. But if they are still teens, I say make sure they do it.

    TAG

    ReplyDelete
  2. RowleyAugust 19, 2009 at 6:23 PM

    Women are the keepers of the "family" tradition. If your kids are close to their grandparents, you should encourage them to maintain their relationship. Same for "X". Just because "X" didn't acknowledge your birthday doesn't mean that you should have your kids retaliate. "Just my opinion I could be wrong". (Also what the Hell are you doing up at 4:00 and 5:00 AM writing this blog when you are working two jobs!

    ReplyDelete
  3. mertamAugust 20, 2009 at 3:23 AM

    I agree with the other 2 comments. No need to do what 'X' does. Tell the children they can decide (If old enough) to send a gift/call. If In-Laws are still friends with you, why not? Divorces are seldom nice amicable affairs so why bring the children into things? If 'X' has a problem that is 'X's' fault. Also as Rowley says wth are you doing up at that hour!?
    MERV.

    ReplyDelete
  4. jaykbeeAugust 20, 2009 at 4:00 AM

    lol. I like to have a slow start in the morning, and so I wake up early or try to. My alarm is set to 5:30 though. Once it's time for son to get up, things get hectic coz he can be difficult in the mornings. Okay well I will tell the kids and encourage them to call and or email.

    ReplyDelete
  5. jaykbeeAugust 20, 2009 at 4:00 AM

    I agree. Thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. jaykbeeAugust 20, 2009 at 4:01 AM

    Come to think of it, I could use a nap. It's been hard waking up the last two days. Hope i will get used to this soon!

    ReplyDelete
  7. TammyAugust 22, 2009 at 4:17 PM

    You are a good person and I know you will do what you think is right. I agree that when the kids are living with you, remind them that it is birthday time for X or you Xinlaws. When I left my ex last year it was only a couple months before his birthday so I even sent him a small gift and card. But I didn't this year. My kids are pretty much grown and on their own, but I do remind them when their dad's birthday is. And when their grandparents birthdays are.
    I have been divorced for a little over a year now, and am trying to keep up a friendly one with the X. It doesn't always work, but for the most part it has been not too bad.
    Good luck, hon, and get some rest when you can!! Hugs!
    Tammy

    ReplyDelete
  8. jaykbeeAugust 23, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    Thanks Tammy. I appreciate your comments!

    ReplyDelete

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