One of the greatest frustrations that I deal with now that I'm disabled, is that no one can truly understand what I'm going through. There is such a wide array of problems that now make my life difficult, it's impossible to explain really. I know it is unreasonable of me to expect that, no one can possibly step into another person's situation to understand. Nonetheless, it is upsetting. I'm hoping that eventually, I can come to terms with all of this.
Welp, I've been home resting and recuperating all week thus far, and tomorrow is a snow/ice day. Guess that's an early spring break for me. YaY. Boo for being sick tho! I'm feeling much better now with antibiotics and just a cough and headache to remind me. Put sheer white curtains up around my four post bed. That made me happy. Bought a bundle of yellow towels for my bathroom that I am still loving. My house is clean; I have no where to be and plan on staying put for a few days during this storm. I failed to mention that yesterday I took Navy guy to get a new battery for his jimmy before work. He was being very pleasant and personable, which made me miss him. He also sent me a text that if it didn't work out with my"company" to let him know. Suddenly, he's more talkative. I dunno if it's the whole not wanting to be unsingle thing or what. His texts this morning said stuff about the bike club having issues that he didn't want to get me in ...
I wish I didn't care if my ex lives or dies. I care too much, mostly for the sake of my children, partly for hopes and dreams long gone but unforgotten, for a future unfulfilled. My heart is torn so many ways for so many reasons. I don't know how I go on. I never knew there were so many tears to cry, so many regrets to have. Last Winter, his kidneys shut down completely. I had to make immediate plans to get the kids over to JAKARTA to see their father just in case the worst happen. Oh yeah. He moved to the other side of the world, away from his children, away from his Chinese wife. I forgot to tell you that, didn't I? He gave his children one weeks notice that he was leaving. It broke their hearts and continues to do so on a regular basis. Me? I gave him a ride to the airport with the kids, after having helped him pack up things and move things from the apartment. Why would I help? Well... I couldn't let my kids do all t...
None of us are, the best we can do is the best we can do!
ReplyDeleteLove the pics.
But isn't it funny how even his imperfections seem perfect in retrospect? Imperfectly Perfect, that was dad.
ReplyDelete