First of all, let me say that I think I love North Carolina and want to move there. The men are hawt, they have smexy accents, and funny idioms... plus the name places are cool (i.e. Lizard Lick, Kill Devil Falls--what's not to love??)mmm plus I think the grow 'em bigger there! :) I have to go back to work next week, which makes me really ANTSY right now. I'm all tense, uptight and wanna do somethin crazy. Meanwhile, I have a date tonite-- a second date. This guy is definitely a diamond in the rough, not in a good way but he is sweet and good company. I'm suffering withdrawals from NAVY too coz he finally got himself a new manly macho truck. He's so happy about it too, that I can't begrudge him the thrills. However, I do miss him lotz since I have been driving him back and forth to work for weeks now. I'm afraid he won't even miss me :(( sigh.
No school today, which was nice. I went to see a cardiologist---everything checked out fine, but will go get an electrocardiogram just to be sure. Of course, I need to watch my diet and start exercising regularly. Things are a bit blue around here. X fixed my garbage disposal last week, which was nice of him. It was a nasty job and I was grateful for his help. Last night, I needed him to come and help me with something (trust me). I ended up wailing and crying on his shoulder. No, I don't want him back. However,it still sux that my life has changed so much. Not having a husband to help me with certain things, having to ask my son or mother... sux. Right now, I feel pretty lonely too, and my self esteem is in the dumps. I'm not going to give up though; gonna keep on pluggin along. There are plenty of positive things to plan, do and wait for the sun to rise. I've got that list after all.
Last week: one melt down at bedtime one trip to ER for shortness of breath, high bp Everything checked out well --- might need bp medicine but certainly need to stop getting so stressed out about son's schoolwork, grades, tests, etc. This weekend: Friday night alone with Son. Saturday night alone. Turned down offer to go to AVATAR3D movie with X and our kids. a Sunday went to breakfast with Army guy. He gave me his old tube TV -- which I am so happy about... Merry Christmas to me. Sunday afternoon, evening alone. Did some housework, petted my dog, watched TV. Happy Vacation.
None of us are, the best we can do is the best we can do!
ReplyDeleteLove the pics.
But isn't it funny how even his imperfections seem perfect in retrospect? Imperfectly Perfect, that was dad.
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