Blue days


No school today, which was nice. I went to see a cardiologist---everything checked out fine, but will go get an electrocardiogram just to be sure. Of course, I need to watch my diet and start exercising regularly.

Things are a bit blue around here. X fixed my garbage disposal last week, which was nice of him. It was a nasty job and I was grateful for his help. Last night, I needed him to come and help me with something (trust me). I ended up wailing and crying on his shoulder. No, I don't want him back. However,it still sux that my life has changed so much. Not having a husband to help me with certain things, having to ask my son or mother... sux. Right now, I feel pretty lonely too, and my self esteem is in the dumps.

I'm not going to give up though; gonna keep on pluggin along. There are plenty of positive things to plan, do and wait for the sun to rise. I've got that list after all.

Comments

  1. TammyJanuary 7, 2010 at 7:29 PM

    I certainly understand how you feel...it's hard to go back to doing what you can by yourself and having to ask others to help do the things your ex used to do...and it is lonely...I hate sleeping by myself...would love to have someone to snuggle with...go to sleep with, wake up with. Oh well...I know sometimes it would be sooo easy to go back to him and start from there again...but it would just be the same and you would want out again...be strong...I am proud of you for all the things you have done on your own so far, hon. You are doing great...yes there are lonely times, but hang in there and you will find a man who will treat you well and love you for the wonderful person you are....hugs to you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. JulieJanuary 8, 2010 at 5:31 AM

    Thanks Tammy, I need to hear that. Often LOL huggles.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JulieJanuary 8, 2010 at 5:32 AM

    oh.. and it's an ECHO something, not electra something.

    ReplyDelete

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