Meltdown and looking forward

Today, I was sluggish and weak when I woke up. Dragged myself to work, but felt pretty fragile. Sure enough, by 4th hour during my planning period,I had a meltdown--one of the worst at-work ones that I have had. When I realized it wasn't going away on its own, I quickly went to a trusted friend and confidante who talked me down. The reasons are the same as previous posts all combined into one with fear as a mixer. He is leaving next week, btw, for Asia. Distance should help.

Brought my son home. He is my baby and I love him. Daughter was being very nice after school as well (I am not treating her as a confidante by the way. She is a teenager who has a right to what innocence is left her). We talked about what colors to paint the walls and decided to get rid of our old furniture for something cheerful.

Also, as I can, I am going to have the windows replaced. There are only FOUR windows in the whole house! One of my pure pleasures is to be able to open the windows and let the breeze in through the screen. That would add to my sense of well being, so seems important. Even more so if I can double the window size.

Things to look forward to. Maybe I can even get someone to help me with the landscaping!