Welcome to my Bad Side

Last night I was furious.
Today all day my head was messed up.
Thoughts of not wanting to live kept swirling around.
My friend prayed for me when I told her and
thankfully the thoughts subsided.
Only to be replaced by fury.
The kind where ur insides quiver with it
and you can't quite catch ur breath.
I want to
Scream Yell Cry Break things Pull hair
I hate.
Normally, as a rule, I don't do hate.
Hate is a very strong emotion that I have chosen to eliminate from my vocabulary.
However that is what I feel for him and for his family.
I never fit in. I wasn't Asian.
They have dropped me completely with no contact.
I know better than to try to contact them.
He has been calling this afternoon but I won't pickup the phone.
I was talking to my daughter and he took the phone from her to speak
to me.
I hung up.
That has got to be a shock for him.
I have NEVER EVER ignored him, refused to speak to him, or take his calls.
Ever.
It's a good time to start.
Don't u think?

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