I will no longer search for signs of your love as a private investigator searches for clues. I will no longer dissect every conversation looking for hidden meaning. I will no longer brush carefully at a pile of dusty bones seeking proof that your love existed. Now, I dance down life's beaches glorying in the sun and surf welcoming the wind in my hair now and again stooping to scoop seashells up from the love-strewn shore. Now, I find love in the open. jayksee May 2010
First of all, let me say that I think I love North Carolina and want to move there. The men are hawt, they have smexy accents, and funny idioms... plus the name places are cool (i.e. Lizard Lick, Kill Devil Falls--what's not to love??)mmm plus I think the grow 'em bigger there! :) I have to go back to work next week, which makes me really ANTSY right now. I'm all tense, uptight and wanna do somethin crazy. Meanwhile, I have a date tonite-- a second date. This guy is definitely a diamond in the rough, not in a good way but he is sweet and good company. I'm suffering withdrawals from NAVY too coz he finally got himself a new manly macho truck. He's so happy about it too, that I can't begrudge him the thrills. However, I do miss him lotz since I have been driving him back and forth to work for weeks now. I'm afraid he won't even miss me :(( sigh.
Did I tell you Ex is leaving for China / Indonesia to meet his gf for the first time and then see his family--possibly get a job there. He is going to leave me with a shambles of a house to clean up, his children to take care of, and his credit card bill collectors to tell that he doesn't live there anymore. I think I will change the phone number. I am not sure how I feel about all this. Maybe a bit scared of taking on the financial burdens with little hope of child support and no alimony. Going back into the same old house isnt my idea of fun either. Yet, I know that I can clean it up, repaint. I can do it. The lawn in the back has reached mid calf already. Probably he will leave that for me also---just as well. Last year it took him all summer to get the lawn finished through ONE time. It's not a big lawn.... I dunno, maybe he has the right idea-- new place, new start. If I had the money, I'd give him some just to hurry him along even if it means he is leaving my...
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