catharsis
Why is life so confusing?
My world exploded--here I am trying to grab bits and pieces of what I had together. Sure, it was messed up but it was MINE!!!!! My life revolved around husband, kids, job. My energy was focused on keeping all the plates spinning, keeping my world from crashing over the side of a cliff---food on the table, bills paid, blah blah blah. It was stressful, sometimes unbearable, but at least I knew it. The one thing I could count on was a warm body in my bed, arms to hold me; it anchored me.
For over 20 years, my life revolved around him. Now, everything is out of whack, out of kilter, spinning crazily. NO, I don't want him back, but I hate this uncertainty that my life has become, the lack of anything to center me. Half my family is gone elsewhere, both son and daughter lash out at me in anger... I was a wife and mother--what am I now?
This is the point where the panic starts. When these kind of thoughts come with tears, agitation, hyperventilation, and melt down--usually.
Not today, though. Just putting it down here helps I guess. I feel better now. thanks. :)
My world exploded--here I am trying to grab bits and pieces of what I had together. Sure, it was messed up but it was MINE!!!!! My life revolved around husband, kids, job. My energy was focused on keeping all the plates spinning, keeping my world from crashing over the side of a cliff---food on the table, bills paid, blah blah blah. It was stressful, sometimes unbearable, but at least I knew it. The one thing I could count on was a warm body in my bed, arms to hold me; it anchored me.
For over 20 years, my life revolved around him. Now, everything is out of whack, out of kilter, spinning crazily. NO, I don't want him back, but I hate this uncertainty that my life has become, the lack of anything to center me. Half my family is gone elsewhere, both son and daughter lash out at me in anger... I was a wife and mother--what am I now?
This is the point where the panic starts. When these kind of thoughts come with tears, agitation, hyperventilation, and melt down--usually.
Not today, though. Just putting it down here helps I guess. I feel better now. thanks. :)
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