It may not be Hallmark, but it's mine
I have a friend/acquaintance... just as my marriage was ending, her 40 something husband died unexpectedly from a heart attack. I remember sitting in the memorial service, my estranged husband a row behind thinking that I would never be able to stand up at his funeral telling what a great husband, father, person he had been, etc.
Between her husband's life insurance/ social security, she has been able to move into a fancy house with a pool, take trips all around with her children, not have to work other than taking care of everything,....and of course mourn her husband. He was a great guy. Her life is a Hallmark made-for-TV feel good movie.
Anyhoo, she made a snarky comment to something I said about my life being a "sitcom without the canned laughter' (I was really just joking, not serious a all). I wanted to respond and say "Well, we all don't get to enjoy our kids full time from pool side or on a plane to Vegas, to mourn our husband in relative financial, physical comfort....' Yeah, well I didn't say that and never would say that to her. I've lost people I loved, I would never judge her for whatever she has to do to survive.
Instead, what I get is an immature X who wanted the divorce but says horrible things about me to my children, who barely pays child support yet leaves me to pay his student loans that I cosigned for. I get to try to keep a roof over my sons head, literally--fixing up a house that was terribly neglected repair wise, keep food in the fridge, clothes on his back, be a 24-7 PARENT and not just someone who takes him for two carefree days on the weekend. Yeah, my life isn't a stinkin sitcom. It's a frickin soap opera.
Even so, I am happier in many ways than I have ever been in the past 20 odd years of marriage. I am free to laugh, love, cry, shout, and go about my life without constant criticism, oppression and emotional abuse. My life might not be ready for Sunday evening TV but ya kno, someday it will be. Such as it is, this is my life and I'm going on day by day, even when I would rather not. so pfftt.
Between her husband's life insurance/ social security, she has been able to move into a fancy house with a pool, take trips all around with her children, not have to work other than taking care of everything,....and of course mourn her husband. He was a great guy. Her life is a Hallmark made-for-TV feel good movie.
Anyhoo, she made a snarky comment to something I said about my life being a "sitcom without the canned laughter' (I was really just joking, not serious a all). I wanted to respond and say "Well, we all don't get to enjoy our kids full time from pool side or on a plane to Vegas, to mourn our husband in relative financial, physical comfort....' Yeah, well I didn't say that and never would say that to her. I've lost people I loved, I would never judge her for whatever she has to do to survive.
Instead, what I get is an immature X who wanted the divorce but says horrible things about me to my children, who barely pays child support yet leaves me to pay his student loans that I cosigned for. I get to try to keep a roof over my sons head, literally--fixing up a house that was terribly neglected repair wise, keep food in the fridge, clothes on his back, be a 24-7 PARENT and not just someone who takes him for two carefree days on the weekend. Yeah, my life isn't a stinkin sitcom. It's a frickin soap opera.
Even so, I am happier in many ways than I have ever been in the past 20 odd years of marriage. I am free to laugh, love, cry, shout, and go about my life without constant criticism, oppression and emotional abuse. My life might not be ready for Sunday evening TV but ya kno, someday it will be. Such as it is, this is my life and I'm going on day by day, even when I would rather not. so pfftt.
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