I'm mad at him for ripping my life apart.
I'm mad because he married his China girl and hasn't told his kids and still tries to sleep with me.
I don't know if there is anything valuable left in me.
I gave him all I had and it wasn't good enough. Those were the best years of my youth, beauty, enthusiasm. Who wants the bits and pieces left behind?
Frankly, there are still many times when I don't want to live, when I actually imagine slicing into my vein, when this life seems too hard, difficult, pointless.
But, I love my children, my dogs, my mom.
and so I go on.

Comments

  1. TammyJanuary 27, 2010 at 11:50 PM

    Awww hon...don't get down. Hang in there. Life is worth living. You have not given all of the best of you yet. The best is yet to come.
    I know how you feel though. Sometimes I get like that. Depression is a bad thing. Don't think about slicing yourself. No man is worth that. You are worth much more than that, hon. Believe in yourself. You are a great person and don't forget that! Hugs to you. Hope you feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JulieJanuary 30, 2010 at 9:57 PM

    thanks, tammy. I appreciate you. hugz.

    ReplyDelete
  3. RowleyJanuary 31, 2010 at 3:29 PM

    Damn Julie, don't let it get you down like this. Hang in there. Come see us. You know where.
    Rowley

    ReplyDelete
  4. JulieFebruary 2, 2010 at 5:42 PM

    hugz. Rowley, ur sweet.

    ReplyDelete

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