Okay, so let me tell you what happened.
I got that email from X and it upset me--crying, hyperventilating, panic attack, the works. BF had been gone all day at a bike fix it thing for his club, so I called him to see if he was going to come home soon. Basically, I was scared, upset and needed to be held or at minimum, a hug. However, after seeing the email and having left 6 bikes that were in the process of being fixed, he was MAD. I asked if he was mad at me but he said he was mad at X for bringing him into it---especially not having ever met, etc. Anyhoo, he took a bag of his stuff and said he was going to stay away for a few days. Said to call him if I needed him. pffft. That's what I did and look what happened!
Good thing is, my panic attack didn't last long---I didn't even need to take a tranquilizer! YaY. Thing is, I won't call him. He will have to call or not call. He's the one that left. I really like him--lots of things about him but he isn't perfect. Even so, I can tolerate lots of imperfections--exhibit A: my twenty year marriage. If he doesn't come back, I am going to miss him a lot but I'll live if I have to.
Also, I've been having horrendous toothaches so went to the dentist today for more pain pills, antibiotics and an appt. for Thursday.
I'm gonna be okay. Rather have him around, but it's up to him right now . The leaving thing might take me some to get over even if he comes back though.
I got that email from X and it upset me--crying, hyperventilating, panic attack, the works. BF had been gone all day at a bike fix it thing for his club, so I called him to see if he was going to come home soon. Basically, I was scared, upset and needed to be held or at minimum, a hug. However, after seeing the email and having left 6 bikes that were in the process of being fixed, he was MAD. I asked if he was mad at me but he said he was mad at X for bringing him into it---especially not having ever met, etc. Anyhoo, he took a bag of his stuff and said he was going to stay away for a few days. Said to call him if I needed him. pffft. That's what I did and look what happened!
Good thing is, my panic attack didn't last long---I didn't even need to take a tranquilizer! YaY. Thing is, I won't call him. He will have to call or not call. He's the one that left. I really like him--lots of things about him but he isn't perfect. Even so, I can tolerate lots of imperfections--exhibit A: my twenty year marriage. If he doesn't come back, I am going to miss him a lot but I'll live if I have to.
Also, I've been having horrendous toothaches so went to the dentist today for more pain pills, antibiotics and an appt. for Thursday.
I'm gonna be okay. Rather have him around, but it's up to him right now . The leaving thing might take me some to get over even if he comes back though.
I'm sorry the fellow couldn't see how important this was to you. I choose to believe that ultimately the loss will be his. I say this because I am hoping you'll pay close attention to some advice I am about to give.
ReplyDeleteYou yourself admit that he is far from perfect. (No one is perfect but it sounds to me like this guy is very far from perfect.)
Please consider some of the best advice I ever heard. Heard it many years ago and it still applies big time.
You don't need a man you can live with. You need a man you can't live without.
Until you find someone that meets that lofty standard you might wish to consider being single mom and getting to love it.
Best of luck.
TAG
Thanks for the comment Tag. It means a lot to me that you and my other readers follow my progress and are willing to give advice/support. I know I don't always respond to comments, but they mean so much--really. Things are so confusing for me in this area---I'm a newb! I do have to admit that I like the idea of getting my house back for myself. I wasn't quite ready to give up my peace and freedom for a man but kinda felt that it was headed that way. How easily I fell back into the role of doing laundry, dishes, keeping quiet so he can sleep, etc. lol Not only am I a newb, I'm a GOOB. huggles. thanks again.
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