On my Own

I had a nice weekend. BF and Son bonded on Sunday over pizza, pop, ice cream and Wii games. Son really seemed to enjoy it. BF is being very nice to my son. He even mentioned to me that he wants to get him out working on the car with him next weekend if we can get it over to my place.

X has apparently left town--I am unsure if it is for China as his wedding invitation suggests or if he is elsewhere. He told Son he was going to Colorado; his mother told me he is in Houston but the way she hesitated seemed like she was lying about it.

I cried after that because it seems he has gone and left as I thought he would---leaving his children unprovided for and unaware, leaving me to face his student loans. I was so upset at the thought that he would abandon his children without even saying goodbye. What if something happens to him? They will be left with the knowledge that he was too busy pursuing his own foolishness. Thankfully BF was there to distract me and comfort me. I doubt I will ever be able to understand how he could abandon his children like that, leaving Son unprovided for except for what I can provide. There are so many things that Son needs--winter clothing, a winter jacket, school lunch money, new shoes; so many things that need fixing on the house. I guess I just need to be stronger, angry, and determined to go it alone.