grateful for crumbs
I love my son so much.
He is an extremely bright child in so many ways---has always been.
However, he is ADHD inattentive so tends to be distracted by anything, everything and nothing.
His first years of school were spent being sent to the office for daydreaming during seatwork, not completing tests, being kept out of recess and center play. Time outs never bother him because all he needs for company are his own thoughts. In a private school where flexibility is lacking and worksheets rule, my son has been punished, isolated, and misunderstood for being different.
"He is able to do the work"
"He is capable of the work"
"He is an extremely smart boy who knows all the answers but chooses not to do his work"
Sure, he can do it. My son is capable of doing it but unless mysterious forces are aligned properly, he doesn't. I have tried scolding, encouraging, punishing, rewarding, to little avail. What works one day may not the next. He isn't disobedient or rebellious. He truly just struggles to focus.
Over the years I have cried and cried over my son. I have spent hour upon hour upon hour trying to get him to finish his school work. I have spoken with, emailed, and called teachers, principals, even a child psychologist. The latter did put him on medication but at that time my son was in 3rd grade and I couldn't bear to do it. Instead I put him on a vitamin regiman that seemed to help.
Anyway, he is now in 6th grade and we are struggling to keep up with the work load. So far we have spent 5 hours or more every evening trying to do the homework but have been unable to keep up. It's exhausting. Yesterday it took him 2 hours to do 5 problems, 3 of which were on the wrong assignment. By 9 pm, I was in tears and so tired. Not only that, it was so dark in my house even with all the lights on, we couldnt see well enough to do much. I called his father, my X, to ask him if we could borrow a lamp he promised.
Next thing I knew, X showed up at the door. Turned out to be a good thing. He brought light, helped my son finish his math in five minutes(!) and installed the new router I had been dragging my heels on. Being in tears, I got a hug, the offer of a full body massage (I declined), a peck on the lips, and an offer of sex (also declined). Even so, I was pathetically grateful for the bit of support. Not enough to want him back, just grateful for help with Son.
Not a bad thing.
He is an extremely bright child in so many ways---has always been.
However, he is ADHD inattentive so tends to be distracted by anything, everything and nothing.
His first years of school were spent being sent to the office for daydreaming during seatwork, not completing tests, being kept out of recess and center play. Time outs never bother him because all he needs for company are his own thoughts. In a private school where flexibility is lacking and worksheets rule, my son has been punished, isolated, and misunderstood for being different.
"He is able to do the work"
"He is capable of the work"
"He is an extremely smart boy who knows all the answers but chooses not to do his work"
Sure, he can do it. My son is capable of doing it but unless mysterious forces are aligned properly, he doesn't. I have tried scolding, encouraging, punishing, rewarding, to little avail. What works one day may not the next. He isn't disobedient or rebellious. He truly just struggles to focus.
Over the years I have cried and cried over my son. I have spent hour upon hour upon hour trying to get him to finish his school work. I have spoken with, emailed, and called teachers, principals, even a child psychologist. The latter did put him on medication but at that time my son was in 3rd grade and I couldn't bear to do it. Instead I put him on a vitamin regiman that seemed to help.
Anyway, he is now in 6th grade and we are struggling to keep up with the work load. So far we have spent 5 hours or more every evening trying to do the homework but have been unable to keep up. It's exhausting. Yesterday it took him 2 hours to do 5 problems, 3 of which were on the wrong assignment. By 9 pm, I was in tears and so tired. Not only that, it was so dark in my house even with all the lights on, we couldnt see well enough to do much. I called his father, my X, to ask him if we could borrow a lamp he promised.
Next thing I knew, X showed up at the door. Turned out to be a good thing. He brought light, helped my son finish his math in five minutes(!) and installed the new router I had been dragging my heels on. Being in tears, I got a hug, the offer of a full body massage (I declined), a peck on the lips, and an offer of sex (also declined). Even so, I was pathetically grateful for the bit of support. Not enough to want him back, just grateful for help with Son.
Not a bad thing.
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