Why can't we all just get along!!!!????
My day was okay. Had this visitation stuff swirling around the back of my brain, but it didn't come out until after school when I called my lawyer. I was upset after that, so went to see my friend there in the office at work and she counseled with me a bit. She always makes me feel better. As much as possible anyway.
So, I have a few hard choices.
1. Ignore it and hope it never happens again. Just let son go there, etc. as he wishes, without knowing what time he will be home, etc.
2. Contact his father via email which he claims to send to the SPAM filter, letting him know that it is unacceptable and try to work it out with him again. HOPING he might respond and be reasonable. yeah. I know.
3. Keep my son from making arrangements with his father and wait for the FATHER to contact me indicating that he would like to see his son, make arrangements with me, etc.
4. Let my lawyer send him a letter advising him that it is unacceptable to communicate solely via the children and that he, the father, must make reasonable visitation arrangements with me or we will take the visitation matter to the court and let them decide. --- Which would cost me at minimum 200 dollars just for the letter.
Any one of these is liable to generate hostility, anger, etc that will be directed at me sent via the children. None of the options are good. It would be nice if he can just be reasonable, but knowing him, I won't hold my breath. Meanwhile, I went with option #2 for starters. Read below:
Dear X,
When we filed for divorce, it was under the assumption that we would be able to cooperate and come to a reasonable visitation schedule. However, your refusal to respond to my emails, to let me know of changes in your schedule, to advise me that you plan to take son out of state and return him later than anticipated has become a problem.
It is very simple. I need to know what days you want him. What time I should drop him off and what time you will return him. Any deviation and you should call me directly. Yourself. That would be the considerate thing to do.
It would be nice if we could come to this arrangement ourselves-- between us as parents who love their son. It is harmful to our children to persist in using them as go betweens. If you care about them, please don't use them in this manner.
Sincerely,
J
Okay so frankly, I am not too optimistic. Meanwhile, I am VERY concerned that his student loan that I cosigned will come back to bite me in the butt. Dear Lord, please don't let them garnish my wages for HIS student loan. I dunno if I can stand that horrible irony when he isn't paying child support. I'm okay, honest. But, I do have a headache, so am going to take medicine and go to bed. Thanks for reading. I am open to suggestions.
So, I have a few hard choices.
1. Ignore it and hope it never happens again. Just let son go there, etc. as he wishes, without knowing what time he will be home, etc.
2. Contact his father via email which he claims to send to the SPAM filter, letting him know that it is unacceptable and try to work it out with him again. HOPING he might respond and be reasonable. yeah. I know.
3. Keep my son from making arrangements with his father and wait for the FATHER to contact me indicating that he would like to see his son, make arrangements with me, etc.
4. Let my lawyer send him a letter advising him that it is unacceptable to communicate solely via the children and that he, the father, must make reasonable visitation arrangements with me or we will take the visitation matter to the court and let them decide. --- Which would cost me at minimum 200 dollars just for the letter.
Any one of these is liable to generate hostility, anger, etc that will be directed at me sent via the children. None of the options are good. It would be nice if he can just be reasonable, but knowing him, I won't hold my breath. Meanwhile, I went with option #2 for starters. Read below:
Dear X,
When we filed for divorce, it was under the assumption that we would be able to cooperate and come to a reasonable visitation schedule. However, your refusal to respond to my emails, to let me know of changes in your schedule, to advise me that you plan to take son out of state and return him later than anticipated has become a problem.
It is very simple. I need to know what days you want him. What time I should drop him off and what time you will return him. Any deviation and you should call me directly. Yourself. That would be the considerate thing to do.
It would be nice if we could come to this arrangement ourselves-- between us as parents who love their son. It is harmful to our children to persist in using them as go betweens. If you care about them, please don't use them in this manner.
Sincerely,
J
Okay so frankly, I am not too optimistic. Meanwhile, I am VERY concerned that his student loan that I cosigned will come back to bite me in the butt. Dear Lord, please don't let them garnish my wages for HIS student loan. I dunno if I can stand that horrible irony when he isn't paying child support. I'm okay, honest. But, I do have a headache, so am going to take medicine and go to bed. Thanks for reading. I am open to suggestions.
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