pondering

Today, I woke up slowly. The dim morning light came thru the partially opened blinds as I remembered twenty years of Sunday mornings, long lazy mornings spent in bed with my then husband. I loved snuggling up to him, touching his skin, kissing the back of his neck, shoulder, back. All of our best times were spent in the bedroom. So, I was pondering all of this, missing it when I realized that's all that I liked -- the physical touch, closeness, affection. I had no desire to hear him speak about anything, be it trivial or important. The less he spoke, the better and the same probably held true for him toward me. So sad.

I went to see the movie, "Julie and Julia" with my mom this afternoon. I enjoyed the movie a lot, but the focus on the marriages was disturbing. Both wives were close to their husbands, could share their happiness, feelings and frustrations with them. The husbands seemed to love, adore, cherish, and support their wives. Seemed like they found them cute and amusing. I wanted to ask my mom if marriage can reallly be like that where two people enjoy each other most of the time. Is it really that way? Is it?

Oh I hope so. It would be so nice to enjoy talking to my husband, sharing hopes and dreams as well as the physical side.