call me Rudy
Today, as we were leaving for vacation, we stopped by my mother-in-law's house to drop mail off for the X and to look for son's swimsuit.
X was there, so I sent the kids in to say hi, smooch and hug him. They miss him and I am sure he misses them.
A few minutes later, my daughter comes out SOBBING. My daughter rarely cries. I can count on two hands how many times I have seen her cry in the last 8 years. According to her, her dad was mad at her for helping me move his stuff out that last weekend when we had the problem and accused her of taking sides.
I went to the door to call son and pointed out to X's mom that my daughter was in the car crying etc. anyway, a few words exchanged and X came out ordering me to leave while I was trying to be reasonable for daughter's sake.
At that point, daughter screamed from the driveway telling us to stop, she can't take it anymore and fell to the ground sobbing hysterically.
Yeah, I suck. I could have bit my lip longer, forced myself to be patient, kept it all amicable by being the mature in control one. But then it could have been years of that. I don't know what I should have done differently.
He is out of control now. No one is there to encourage him to control himself, to give wise counsel, to protect him from himself. It's all up to him.
I am determined that I am going to succeed. I am not going to be a miserable, penniless woman who needs financial help. I am going to pay my bills, take care of my children, build a future for myself and be happy.
This whole experience is NOT going to break me because I am a survivor. As a former collegue once said--- I am RUDY. I get knocked down but get up and keep going.
"You're 5 foot nothin', 100 and nothin', and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now, it ain't gonna never happen. Now go on back.
"
X was there, so I sent the kids in to say hi, smooch and hug him. They miss him and I am sure he misses them.
A few minutes later, my daughter comes out SOBBING. My daughter rarely cries. I can count on two hands how many times I have seen her cry in the last 8 years. According to her, her dad was mad at her for helping me move his stuff out that last weekend when we had the problem and accused her of taking sides.
I went to the door to call son and pointed out to X's mom that my daughter was in the car crying etc. anyway, a few words exchanged and X came out ordering me to leave while I was trying to be reasonable for daughter's sake.
At that point, daughter screamed from the driveway telling us to stop, she can't take it anymore and fell to the ground sobbing hysterically.
Yeah, I suck. I could have bit my lip longer, forced myself to be patient, kept it all amicable by being the mature in control one. But then it could have been years of that. I don't know what I should have done differently.
He is out of control now. No one is there to encourage him to control himself, to give wise counsel, to protect him from himself. It's all up to him.
I am determined that I am going to succeed. I am not going to be a miserable, penniless woman who needs financial help. I am going to pay my bills, take care of my children, build a future for myself and be happy.
This whole experience is NOT going to break me because I am a survivor. As a former collegue once said--- I am RUDY. I get knocked down but get up and keep going.
"You're 5 foot nothin', 100 and nothin', and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now, it ain't gonna never happen. Now go on back.
"
but if you need help, TELL US.
ReplyDeleteProud of you.