Annoying EX sister in laws
Here are excerpts from an email that my daughter received from my EX's older sister. I have added a few translations for you in the pink:
A VIRGIN ! I had dated a lot & always new deep in my heart that I will never let any Tom, Dick or Harry spoil my goal in life. ( translation: COZ I AM SO MUCH SMARTER THAN YOUR MOTHER)
I tell xxxxx to have allot of friends girls & boys & don't get serious with a boy too early. I also tell her that she needs to focus on her studies, make good grades so she can get a scholarship to college as we can't afford it. (translation, so if you thought to ask US for help, think again!) Study hard, work hard & someday after she has a good job
maybe see the world then she can think of settling down (Marrying) I've never wanted to marry young & always wanted to travel & have good job experience's to learn different things etc..... that's why being the Oldest of the xxxxxx children, I was the LAST ONE TO GET MARRIED !(even after all my sibling's had children of their own.) (translation: SEE I was smart enough to marry an older divorced man who already had all his children so that I could keep my girlish figure...)
I see allot of young girls, women having boyfriends living together & having sex. It's a SIN ! I told xxxxx, I don't care if you're single, divorced or a widow you don't have sex before getting married ! There's always going to be temptation & that's why if we are strong in the Lord & God's teaching (Love God more than anything) we can do it ! I did it ! (translation: Your mother is a slut and so are my other EX sisters in law)
......
I forgot to include this in my last email : I hope I will get an email from you from time to time even "When you don't have anything to ask me to do for you ( i.e. handing Timothy's T-shirt to him, informing me/ us of your graduation, donation etc.. for Mission trips. ) (translation: you greedy little wench!) Some nieces & nephews don't get in touch with their aunts or uncles unless they need something. (translation: ungrateful wretch. ) I have tried to tell my siblings not to forget their families, relatives, cousins, nieces or nephews when possible. (your parents are rude too!) Some people are not good with sending thank you, birthday etc... cards I can understand( translation: don't be like your parents), that's why for those who can be reached through emails is a good thing !
I have never met your grandparents (my parents) when your parents got married but when your grandparents moved to Indonesia, I use to call & just talk to them. The few times I spoke with your grandfather I found him to be a very nice gentleman !!
Why did I even bothered to get to know my brother's in-laws, because I love both your parents & felt I needed to do so. ( See, I have manners not like YOU) There's a good book that we gave xxxx to read, "How to win friends & influence people" by Dale Carnegie it really helped her & she said " Every teenager (not only adults) needs to read this book & especially Christians !" Whether in Public or Christian, Private schools ! I'm very proud of Elizabeth, she came from a very, very bad situation & we pray everyday for God's guidance in raising her. She's very appreciative for the little things & very mature for her age. (translation: quit asking for stuff and start writing me more often)
My response:
I'm sorry that you found C's announcements, requests, etc rude. I will make sure that she doesn't trouble you with them again. You are absolutely right, she should have better manners. If you would like to say so to her, there is no need to disguise it in paragraph after paragraph. Verbosity is not impressive, merely annoying. Spit it out or don't bother.
You do not need to feel obligated to go on and on about how wonderful YOU are or how WONDERFULLY you have raised your granddaughter. It comes off as annoying and pompous. It really impresses no one. I am not saying that you aren't a great person. But if you have to TELL everyone how wonderful you are, then perhaps you aren't.
She has had a very difficult year and doesn't need any stress or pressure from you. Please do not add to her burdens. She is a teenager after all. You would get more of a response with asking simple questions about her life and LISTENING rather then lecturing her about your way of doing things. If you haven't developed a relationship with her, how do you hope to influence her?
Regarding T's shirt that he ASKED FOR and ASKED HER TO SEND IT with you. Never mind. He will be able to live without it, or we will send it with someone else when they go.
Obviously you disapprove of how we have raised our children--probably more of my part in it. I don't care what you think of me, that is obvious through your behavior.
Even so, my children will not thank you for saying things like "Don't be like your mother, or it's your mother's fault you are a picky eater." as you said to my son when he was visiting you. They are my children after all and love me as I am, unconditionally-- after all, they are a part of me as I am a part of them. If you attack me, you attack them. Think about it.
I hope that you will find some peace and happiness in your life.
Blessings,
Jkbee
My response:
I'm sorry that you found C's announcements, requests, etc rude. I will make sure that she doesn't trouble you with them again. You are absolutely right, she should have better manners. If you would like to say so to her, there is no need to disguise it in paragraph after paragraph. Verbosity is not impressive, merely annoying. Spit it out or don't bother.
You do not need to feel obligated to go on and on about how wonderful YOU are or how WONDERFULLY you have raised your granddaughter. It comes off as annoying and pompous. It really impresses no one. I am not saying that you aren't a great person. But if you have to TELL everyone how wonderful you are, then perhaps you aren't.
She has had a very difficult year and doesn't need any stress or pressure from you. Please do not add to her burdens. She is a teenager after all. You would get more of a response with asking simple questions about her life and LISTENING rather then lecturing her about your way of doing things. If you haven't developed a relationship with her, how do you hope to influence her?
Regarding T's shirt that he ASKED FOR and ASKED HER TO SEND IT with you. Never mind. He will be able to live without it, or we will send it with someone else when they go.
Obviously you disapprove of how we have raised our children--probably more of my part in it. I don't care what you think of me, that is obvious through your behavior.
Even so, my children will not thank you for saying things like "Don't be like your mother, or it's your mother's fault you are a picky eater." as you said to my son when he was visiting you. They are my children after all and love me as I am, unconditionally-- after all, they are a part of me as I am a part of them. If you attack me, you attack them. Think about it.
I hope that you will find some peace and happiness in your life.
Blessings,
Jkbee
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