Do something. Anything.

Went to the house around lunchtime and chewed Ex out (he was sleeping--the house was all smoky from something he burned, the dogs were in, doors were open). Gave him lectures, notes, and a test! Get help, get help, get help was the refrain of the day. Do it for your children. Who is gonna want you if you're a mess? Get yourself out of bed, clean up this place, get some counseling, get out of debt, and fix yourself!!!

The place is a pit. Looks like a dumping ground.

Filled up three garbage bags with stuff while I was there, straightened up the living room, took a lamp and more photo albums. It's pathetic. Looks like I am gonna have to go in and help out with getting rid of junk. It was clean when I left, honest. I spent days making sure it was. Who asked him to drag everything out into the middle of the room and leave it? Apparently he cannot do it himself. I don't want to, but I can't stand to think of my kids in that mess or him in that mess either. Just wanna get it done once and for all.

Made him drive me to the Social Security office to get the kids names changed on their SS card from our name change we did a year back or so.That took a few hours of waiting in line, did lunch and a few more lectures.

Had some interesting convo...

"Don't be so mad" He said. I am mad. I'm mad. "Even if we stayed together, we wouldn't be happy...." he paused. I don't want to talk about it. Staying together is not even an option at this point. Not an option.

A bit more conversation and blame. "Well you knew what you were getting into. You chose to marry me" I married you for love, what's your excuse? I was a baby. You were 8 years older than I. You should have known better. (Mom gave me that one. wtg mom)

Okay, so I don't hate him. I am angry, yes. I don't want to be married to him anymore; that's for sure. Seems like having looked after him for so long, I just need to get him off on the right foot. Sorry, that's just me. The sooner the house gets sorted, the better.