Lord, help me.

I am an idiot.
A snoopy idiot with no self control.
I went to the house to do something for my daughter.
No one was home.
He left his computer on
with his email and instant messengers
conveniently open.
Yeah, I looked.
I shouldn't have but
it's good that I did.
He is slime
scum
sleaze
As soon as I moved out
he started looking for my replacement.
china cupid.com
asian cupid .com
indonesian cupid.com
portugese cupid blah blah.
He is corresponding with several women
with an eye to marriage.
Learning chinese.
Thinking of moving to China
offering to bring people's mother's over.
slime bucket
sleazy.
He never used to be that way.
He found out that he is much cooler online.
Women actually talk to him.
and he can say all kinds of crap.
throw the word love around
"I need to hear your voice"
Bull crap.
slime.
And his email from his sister.
"I knew u were unhappy for several years"
what the heck.
I was a good wife.!!!!!
Damn him.
To his brother:
"Do you want to open a branch in China?"
scuzz bucket.
Lord give me strength.
I told him he was sleazy slimey son of a bitch.
He said "why did you have to.....?"
I said "So I know what a creep you are.. So I know the TRUTH"
I need to be mad.
I need to hold on to my anger enough.
To get myself away.
and keep myself away.
Oh Lord, give me strength.
I really don't want to live.
But I need to live for my children.
He is pissed he didnt get to yell at me.
Called my cell twice from his cell.
I didn't answer.
Called my cell from Chelsea's phone.
I didn't answer.
I walked in the door and my daughter was on the phone.
He grabbed it away to talk to me.
I hung up.
Lord help me not talk to him.
Help me get this over with quickly and as
amicably as possible.
Help me to go on.
Even though I don't want to.
I need help.